


The Last Touch

by i_cant_come_up_with_usernames



Category: Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead - Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead (1990) RPF
Genre: Gallows Humor, LITERALLY, M/M, RAGAD, even though it says they die i'm surprised, every time I think of the show, they die I'm sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:28:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29051388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_cant_come_up_with_usernames/pseuds/i_cant_come_up_with_usernames
Relationships: Guildenstern & Rosencrantz (Hamlet), Guildenstern/Rosencrantz (Hamlet)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 6





	The Last Touch

Two Elizabethans stand, hands bound, a bit away from the gallows.

Guildenstern (hereafter 'Guil'): Heads.

Rosencrantz (hereafter 'Ros'): What?

Guil: Heads. It's what we got and it's what they're going after.

Ros: Ah. A... foreshadowing of sorts. Funny. We don't get clues of the past, but we get them of the future.

Guil: Perhaps the past is uncertain while the future is set.

Ros: Well, it's certain we'll die.

Guil: Is it?

Ros: Of course. We can't escape.

Guil: I guess not.

Ros: But at least we'll always be Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, Guildenstern and Rosencrantz.

(Small pause)

Guil: Syllogism: One, we do not know who is Rosencranz and who is Guildenstern. Two, we love each other. Three, it does not matter which is which.

Ros: Death. A funny thing. (chuckles) I wonder if they'll shave our beards.

Guil: What?

Ros: (loud) Beards!

Guil: Is it funny?

Ros: Is what funny?

Guil: Death.

Ros: Oh. I suppose not.

Guil: It can't be funny, death is nothing. If something is nothing it can't be funny because then it'd be something.

Ros: Best not to dwell on it now.

Guil: When else would I dwell on it?

Ros: My hands hurt.

Guil: They won't for long.

Ros: Dead in boxes. Do you suppose they'll put us next to each other?

Guil: It doesn't matter.

Ros: It matters to me.

Guil: Then I suppose they would. I don't know what they do with corpses. There's so much I don't know.

Ros: Isn't it better that way?

Guil: How?

Ros: Isn't it better to not know everything? If you knew everything, there wouldn't be anything left to learn, and what would you do then?

Guil: Think, I suppose.

Ros: But if you knew everything, you wouldn't have any new thoughts.

Guil: Hm. I guess you're right.

(Small pause)

Guil: Are you scared?

Ros: Of knowing things? Certainly not. I like to know things.

Guil: You know what I mean.

Ros: Perhaps. A bit.

Guil: But why? Why be scared of nothing?

Ros: Nothing means I can't have you.

Guil: Oh. I never thought of it like that.

Ros: Well. It'll soon be over anyway.

(Two guards come and drag them to the gallows, tying nooses around their necks)

Ros: I hope it doesn't hurt.

Guil: It won't last long.

(One of the guards reads out the order of death)

Guil: Touch.

(And they hold hands for the last time as the floor drops out from under them)


End file.
